bedtime blunders.

Mistake One: Allowing your child to sleep in bed with you.

When Lakai was first born, I was told by many parents to not allow him in bed with me. This started out great... by great I mean it lasted maybe two nights. I was nursing and sleep deprived. It only made sense to bring him into my bed so he could nurse and I could sleep. We had a stellar system there for a while. I'd sleep in one position the entire night and he'd be in my arm, permanently glued to his feeding source. Did I feel a bit like a cow, yes... did I care, no. 

About six months in, we had to move back into my parents. This is when I realized that Lakai HAD to sleep in his own bed. His crying was no picnic for Chelsi and Jarim's slumbers. So, I hunkered down and decided it was time Lakai learn to sleep through the night, with no feedings and no constant cuddling with me. This was as difficult for him as it was for me. 

I loved having Lakai near me. I loved the sense of security I felt in holding him in my arms. I loved that he WANTED to be held in my arms. It made me feel needed and connected to him in ways others didn't understand. Listening to his cries the first night was awful. It took everything in me not to pick him up, hold him close, and remind him that everything was alright. But I stayed put. I didn't cave. 

It took one night. ONE. He slept soundly there after. I began feeling more refreshed and energetic during the day. I realized that it had been almost a year (entire third trimester+Lakai was eight months at this point) since I'd gotten a good nights rest. I truly believe that I was able to be a better parent because I became more alert and present when around Lakai. 

Mistake Two: Throwing all knowledge out the door, then running over it with your car and not having a broom to sweep it back up (aka- allowing Lakai to sleep in my bed again).

Yep, I caved. I can't really remember when it restarted. Probably because I'm once again sleep deprived and days run together. But, nonetheless, a while ago I let Lakai start sleeping in my bed again. Now, I'm trying to encourage sleeping in his own room. 

He isn't the sweet little baby I remember once sleeping with. His a full on K-I-D now. Lakai still love to cuddle, and by cuddle I mean push up against me until I have five inches of bed left to sleep on. He also has spasms, and by spasms I mean punches and kicks me in the face. He no longer stays in one spot, instead he sprawls out and turns every which direction he sees fit. He's a savage. 

Two nights ago I began having him sleep in his own room again. He cried the entire evening with the anticipation of having to sleep alone. I heard, "Momma weft (left) me," roughly 37 times the next morning. I had to explain to him that I never weft him, I simply just slept in my room and he in his. I gave him lots of kisses before laying him down, and through his tears I told him those kisses would stay with him all night. I'd never leave because he had all my kisses. At this, I saw a slight glimpse of hope that he would be comforted. 

Last night it was the same routine. I've decided the best thing to do is create a routine for him so he feels more in control of the situation. We changed into out jammies, washed our hands, brushed our teeth, gathered an armful of blankies and stuffed animals, read two stories, turn out the lights, said our prayers and then I walked him over to his crib, gave him all his kisses for the evening and laid him down. He once again cried for a few minutes, but has since been sleeping soundly.

And look... he survived! Listening to your child cry is heart breaking. It makes you feel like a terrible parent. But this is the first step in getting him into his "big boy" bed. I feel more refreshed and have gotten a great nights sleep two days in a row! You can't beat that!